The Summer I was Fourteen
The clear-blue water was cold on our hot skin when we jumped into the pool. It cooled us off as we rose from under the surface. There was a cacophony of splashing and yelling as we jumped in and felt the water's cold hand grab hold of our bodies and pull us under. We entertained ourselves by playing pool basketball and tips. All of us together. Close friends and people I had just met having a great time together. We all raised ourselves out of the enormous, blue bowl and onto the boiling, gray pavement. We went under the sun umbrella to get out of the blistering heat. Everyone brought all sorts of food for us to eat. We feasted on pretzels and oreos as we talked the rest of the afternoon away.
I chose this piece because I feel that I did a good job describing the pool's atmosphere that day. I made a reference to another poem we talked about this year when I called the pool a "blue bowl". I tried to use personification when I mentioned the water taking hold of us and pulling my friends and I under. I tried to use descriptive adjectives to describe the pool and what was happening that day. I think that made it a better piece, and also more entertaining for readers.
No comments:
Post a Comment